Paradise Club

A 1920s Musical
Script by John Mawson & Rob Smith
Music, Lyrics & Orchestrations by Shaula Salathe (with additional lyrics by Rob Smith)

To purchase rights for putting on The Paradise Club please contact Play on Words



Paradise Club - a fast & witty 48 hours in a slightly tacky nightclub of the 1920s.
Double dealings, double entendres & dubious characters.  A rigged horse race.  A brothel. Crooked cops.  
Showgirls & the women from The Temperance Society who believe dancing, pretty dresses & betting are the devil's work!
A glorious cross between 'The Sting' & 'Chicago'.

Synopsis 
“Johnnie the Weasel” is the only son of Big Vinnie Calpesi, a crime boss who
makes his money from various illegal activities, but particularly from race
fixing and gambling. Big Vinnie has financed “The Paradise Club” as a
venture to keep Johnnie away from the real business run by himself and his
soon to be son-in-law, Nick. However things are not going Big Vinnie’s way.
He has made some big losses on the horses, and is gradually losing territory
to his cross-river rival, Ma Belcher and her four daughters. Not helping
him is the constant attention he is receiving from Elliott Mess and his
Touchables, a group of special agents on the take. Can things be turned
around? The arrival of Leslie Taylor, a creative accountant from Sydney
gives some cause for optimism. She has the sting to end all stings. If
successful it will see Big Vinnie on top again and Ma Belcher ruined.



SONG LIST

ACT ONE
Paradise Club (The Paradise Showgirls)
The Way You All Treat Johnnie
People Fall Out of Windows All the Time  (The Thugs)
The Spring Racing Tango (The Paradise Showgirls)
The Sting
You Bet   composer workings now available
One Ordinary Bar (The Cops) composer workings now available
Sugar & Spice composer workings now available
Temperance Canon (The Temperance Society)
Sins of the Flesh
I'm a Schemer
Ma Belcher & Her Girls (Ma Belcher & her 'ladies of the night')
It's a Big Night in the Club Tonight

ACT TWO
I'm a Girl
Impossible to Lose
The Thug's Song (The Thugs)
Duality
Temperance to Hell! (The Temperance Society)
No Such Thing
Finale - Temptation in Moderation (full cast)
(all appearing here soon as piano/vocal free downloads)


 

Paradise Club - piano/vocal tracks

Lady Shaula

piano/vocal - tracks. Orchestrations coming soon!

Read more… close
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  1. 1 Paradise Club 02:24 Free
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  2. 2 The Way You All Treat Johnnie 01:41
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  3. 3 People Fall Out of Windows 02:27 Free
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  4. 4 Spring Racing Carnival 02:30 Free
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  5. 5 The Sting 00:58
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  6. 6 You Bet! 00:56 Lyrics Free
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  7. 7 An Ordinary Bar 01:46 Free
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  8. 8 Sugar & Spice 02:59
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  9. 9 Temperance Canon 00:38
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  10. 10 Sins of the Flesh 02:39 Free
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  11. 11 I'm a Schemer 00:53 Free
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  12. 12 Ma belcher & her Girls 01:59 Free
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  13. 13 It's a Big Night 02:18 Free
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  14. 14 I'm a Girl 03:44 Free
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  15. 15 Impossible to Lose 02:00 Free
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  16. 16 The Thugs' Song 01:21 Free
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  17. 17 Duality 01:21 Free
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  18. 18 Paradise Rag 02:16 Free
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  19. 19 Temperance to Hell 01:25 Free
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  20. 20 I've got it covered 01:05
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  21. 21 No Such Thing 02:12 Free
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  22. 22 Finale 03:47
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Lyrics


PARADISE CLUB

Tonight at the Paradise Club
We’ll melt your cares away
Leave your troubles at the door

Tonight at the Paradise Club
We’ll sing, dance and sway
Til you call out for more

It’s a frantic world out there and it’s getting kind of crazy
But here, safe inside, let your memory be hazy

Stop what your doing, sit down, relax
Doesn’t’ matter if your name is Vinnie, Sammy or Max,
Stop What your doing, here, we’re all friends
This is where trouble ends

Tonight at the Paradise Club
Where lovers come to meet
You can see and be seen
Tonight at the Paradise Club
You’re here in the elite
Even if you’re a has been

Stop what your doing, pull up a chair
Grab yourself a drink and let down your hair
Stop What your doing, we’re here all night
This is where life’s all right

Tonight at the Paradise Club
Until the light of day
There’s surprises in store

Tonight at the Paradise Club
We’ll STRIP your cares away
till you shout out encore

cos you’ve only got this life
and if this… is…. heaven then
………this must be Paradiiiiiise

Welcome to Paradiiiiiiiiise


THE WAY YOU ALL TREAT JOHNNIE

The way you all treat Johnnie ….. makes me sick!
You say he’s dumb and dumber…. He’s not so thick
If you’re gonna be my husband, you better catch wise,
Johnnie could give you all a surprise

The way you all treat Johnnie ….. makes me mad!
He’s kind and patient…. Makes you guys look bad
If you’re gonna be my husband, you better reflect,
Johnnie’s got more up here than you suspect

Sure, his jokes seem way too simple and he speaks a little slow
I’ve known some men like that, so I should know
Sure, he’s a little clumsy and he trips up a lot
Maybe his feet are too big, well, so what!

The way you all treat Johnnie ….. drives me insane!
You rub his nose in dirt…. Well, that’s some dirty game
If you’re gonna be my husband, you better catch on,
Treat people like that and I’m gone

PEOPLE FALL OUT OF WINDOWS ALL THE TIME
(Squizzy - flicking through a small black book)

By my reckoning, he’s in to us by about ten grand. Had a bad run lately, eh Clive?

Clive That’s what I wanted to talk to you about Mr Calpesi. I’ve never had such shocking luck before. Lost in about four photo finishes …… lost two protests. I’m gonna struggle to pay up on time.

Vinnie You’re gonna struggle to walk if you don’t pay up on time!
Squizzy (enthusiastically) Can we do it now, boss?
Bugsy He’ll never walk again. We promise.

Clive (panicking) Please Vinnie. I was wondering if you could give me another couple of weeks ….
Vinnie Not a chance!
Clive (distressed) Just two extra weeks and I’ll pay you back ….. honest Mr Calpesi.
Bugsy Let us do it, Mr Calpesi.
Squizzy It’ll be a clean job, boss.

Vinnie Deal with this Nick.
Nick Now Clive, look at it from Mr Calpesi’s position. Everyone settles at the end of the month. If we give you an extra two weeks, everyone will want another couple of weeks. (mock concern) You understand don’t you?

Clive If you give me two more weeks to settle, I won’t tell anyone else. Honest, no one will ever know.

Nick Out of the question Clive. Settlement day is the end of the month. If you don’t pay by then, the only settlement will be in the soil six feet above your body!
Vinnie So, Mr Solomon, you’ll have that ten thousand you owe me by the end of the month, won’t you?
Clive I’ll do my best.

Vinnie You better hope your best is equal to ten thousand. If it doesn’t then I’d stay away from tall buildings. It’s amazing how many people fall out of windows, isn’t it Squizzie? How many so far this year?

Squizzie (looking in his book) Ten accidents at last count boss.


THE SPRING RACING TANGO

(sexy girly dance like Cell Block Tango)
I love to ride, I love to ride, I love to ride, I love to ride
(steady, slow, metronomical)
There’s nothing like a race to excite me,
Who will invite me to the Spring Racing Carnival?
I just sigh for the
Sight of the horses, flanks on the courses and the flags all flutt’ring high

I can wear a little dress
Pink champagne may make a mess

Admiring glances from some
Fellows with cash that
They need to splash
At the Spring Racing Carnival

Silken jockeys riding up and down
Make my heart tear asunder
Magnificent beasts, a visual feast
Move my body
With their thunder

(8 slow pants watching imaginary race stage right to stage left in distance, while beating horse rhythm)

There’s nothing like a race to entice me,
Who will invite me to the Spring Racing Carnival?
All I’ll need is just a stunning new hat
Not much more than that
When they ruuuuuun (in the sun, so much fun, bet on one, when they run)
At the Spring….racing. Carnival

I love to ride

THE STING

We need a sting, I mean a BIG sting
So the pressure’s on?
We need to hit them hard and hit below the belt
We need a sting, I mean a really BIG sting
or we’re in
more trouble than a wounded grass hopper
in a flock of very hungry seagulls.
(I get the picture, very messy)
very messy indeed, my friend


We need a sting, I mean a BIG sting
Like a sure-thing horse that wins by a nose
We need a sting, I mean a BIG sting
Or what?
Or you and me will be hanging out of windows …………………..
by our toes

YOU BET
(BUBLE BIG BAND STYLE)
Sammy And now Ladies and Gentlemen. Let’s hear it for the Sammy Smooth Silver Satin Big Band and the Paradise Club dancers and “You Bet”.
Sammy sings:
Has your luck been running out, Or has it run dry?
When you see someone else’s good luck, does it make you want to cry?
Have you seen your golden dreams got turned into muck
That’s the great thing about Lady Luck

You Bet – tonight your luck’s gonna change
You bet – tonight your planets rearrange
You Bet – pick yourself up and dust yourself down
You bet your luck’s gonna glitter up this town

Is your money in the black or clearly in the red?
Have you got yourself in hock, does someone want you dead?
Would you sell your grandma for just one lousy buck?
That’s the great thing about Lady Luck

You Bet – tonight your luck’s gonna change
You bet – tonight your planets rearrange
You Bet – pick yourself up and dust yourself down
You bet your luck’s gonna glitter up this town

That’s the funny thing about life
Ask your girlfriend, sister or wife
You can start the day without a penny to spare
And end the day as a millionaire


You Bet – pretty soon your luck’s gonna change
You bet – pretty soon your planets will rearrange
You Bet – pick yourself up and dust yourself down
You bet your luck’s gonna glitter up this town
You bet your luck’s gonna glitter up this town
You bet your luck’s gonna glitter up this town


ONE ORDINARY BAR
looks like an ordinary bar to me …..
nothing new for me to see
I see some photos of horses and a telephone
Just some little trinkets to remind the girls of home

looks like an ordinary bar to me …..
no need for handcuffs and key
I see some books upon a table and a radio as well
Gentle entertainments for these very lovely gells

What sort of a lad would I be to be suspicious of this Red Rose
Here’s a Kitchen Table everything’s humble, heaven knows

looks like an ordinary bar to me …..
and thank you for the drinks for free
and for the extra little courtesies that you give my men and the lad
I can tell that there’s not one thing here that’s bad

Not one thing, Ma

SUGAR AND SPICE

Here on earth, just a step away from heaven
It’s easy to think of sin
Well I say, here, just a step away from heaven
Be human and say ‘come in’
If you live your life being terminally nice
Your life won’t have much spice

In the Garden of Eden, did they do the right thing?
No, they did wrong….
Did the Lorelei help those sailors out?
No, no, no, she sang her song…..

It’s not much fun being good all the time
Add some spice, put some punch in that rhyme
Nice little girls aren’t nice all the time
And I’m ……. A girl…. So that’s fine

In Scheherazade did they have a care?
No, they did wrong….
Did Delilah cut poor Sampson’s hair?
Yes, yes, she didn’t want it long…..

It’s not much fun being Mrs. Nice
Remember that girls are sugar and spice
Heat me up and I’ll melt your ice
Cos I’ve ……. Been bad…. Once or twice

[Dance break]
Did Marie Antoinette really let them eat cake?
No, she cut off their heads….
Did Old Mother Hubbard let her children home bake?
No, no, no, she sent them to their beds…..

It’s not much fun being good all the time
Add some spice, put some punch in my rhyme
Nice little girls aren’t nice all the time
And I’m ……. A girl…. Give me a sign
And I’m ……. A girl…. Pour the wine
And I’m ……. A girl…. So that’s fine


TEMPERANCE CANON

Temperance and honour in Society
Will save you from the Devil’s impropriety
Swap your evil liquor for a cup of tea and the
Gateway to heaven may be free (once again girls)

SINS OF THE FLESH

Barbara People drinking alcohol ….
Susan Men in fancy clothes ….
Loretta Women half naked ….
Celia Music of the devil …
Shirley Dancing … we all know where that goes

Johnnie What?
Shirley You know exactly ….
Audrey The whole place just reeks of immorality and sins of the flesh.(chorus)
Nick Thanks. We’ve tried our best.
Johnnie We had to import the furniture from overseas.
Vera Now that we’ve seen this place I think we can safely report it to the police.
Mabel I’m sure that special squad of Tangibles …

Audrey That’s Touchables, Mabel.

Mabel Oh, yes, Touchables. Elliott Mess and his Touchables. We’ll lobby the Chief Commissioner to get Mr Mess to raid this place.

Vinnie Don’t worry your head about it lady. They raid us every second day.
Celia And you’re still open!
Loretta What is this world coming to?
Barbara (pointing and somewhat admiringly) Ladies walking around in those pretty dresses ….

Vera Those dresses are not pretty, Barbara and they are certainly not ladies!
Audrey disgusting handsome men in those beautifully cut trousers.
Mabel They are not handsome and their trousers are not beautifully cut. From where I’m looking they are a little too tight.
Audrey Yes, they are tight, aren’t they?
Shirley And everyone looks like they are having a good time …..

Vera Disgusting! Fun is the plaything of the devil.

Nick If it’s so bad, how come the Bishop is here?

Mabel The Bishop? Here?

Audrey He must be lost.

Vera I’m sure the Bishop is here on a similar mission to us. To close this place down.

Nick (Mockingly) So that’s what he’s up to. Trying to personally get rid of our supply of grog.

Vinnie And it explains why he spends most of his time with the girls.

Susan Exactly. Showing them the error of their ways.

Mabel Let’s find the Bishop and see if we can combine forces.

Nick Ok, that’s it. You’re ruining our night. Out! Out now!

Mabel Very well, we will leave, but be sure. We will return again and again until this den is shut down.

Vera And temptation is removed.

Mabel Come ladies.

I'M A SCHEMER
Leslie I’m a schemer. 

Gina And what’s that? An architect or developer or something?

Leslie I plan. I look for angles.
I solve problems for people.
And I’m not afraid to bend the rules.
You might call me an entrepreneur.
Not so far out of my league
that I can’t count the crowd
and calculate the takings tonight.

Nick What are you saying?

Leslie Look, my background is in accountancy
and I reckon you skimmed off about
40% of the takings from the “Little Sisters”
or what ever the charity is called.

annoyed) Now listen here! We’ve just got a little cash flow problem …….

Leslie Well I’m the right person at the right time
Gina (off handedly) Ahh, you’ll fit in well around here then.

Ma Belcher and her Girls
Ma sings
Here comes…. Ma Belcher and her girls from the other side
My daughters, Lily, Wenona and Roxy are my greatest pride
They all want to grow up just like Mama
So they’ll all fit in among the bourgoisie
Here comes…. Ma Belcher and her girls from the other side

Girls sing
Here comes…. Ma Belcher and her girls from the other side
We may be young, but we’re tough and we’ll take anything in our stride
We all want to grow up just like Mama
Some day like you, we’ll be la-de-da
Here comes…. Ma Belcher and her girls from the other side

Girls & Ma intertwine sing
Here comes…. Ma Belcher and her girls from the other side
My daughters, Lily, Wenona and Roxy are my greatest pride
They/we all want to grow up just like Mama
So they’ll/we’ll all fit in among the bourgoisie…..la, la-de-da
Here comes…. Ma Belcher and her girls from the other side
Ma Belcher …….
and her girls from the other side


IT’S A BIG NIGHT

It’s a Big Night in the Club Tonight
Deals are being made, oh, I have no doubt
It’s a Big Night in the Club Tonight
If you see a mess don’t try to sort it out

Everyone is a scheeeeeeemer
Everyone is a bit of a dreamer
It’s a Big Night in the Club Tonight
So pull up a chair
Let down your hair
And live for……..tonight……

Solo:
It’s a Big Night in the Club Tonight
There’s some movers and shakers
I know your faces
It’s a Big Night in the Club Tonight
An international flair, they've come
From all different places

(More song)

INTERVAL

Act 2 Scene 1

The scene is the Paradise Club the next morning. The scene opens on a rehearsal of one of Marlena’s songs. Big Vinny is at the bar looking on with his son Johnnie as the rehearsal proceeds.

I’M A GIRL

I’m a girl

I’m a girl, I’m a woman, I’ve got curves & I love it,
& I’m not 17, and I don’t care who knows it
‘cos there’s things I know now that I didn’t know then so
watch what you’re looking at you hungry men

I’m a girl, I’m a woman, I’ve got power unrivalled
& I know things in here for the human survival
‘cos there’s things I know now that I didn’t know then
though they would have been useful way back when

I was photographically excellent, but oh so naiive,
now I’ve got one or two new tricks up my sleeve

I’m a girl, I’m a woman, don’t you underestimate
my seductive ways that can build or decimate
‘cos there’s things I know now that I didn’t know then so
watch what you’re looking at you hungry men

I’m a girl, I’m a woman, & your muscles may be stronger
but my patience is steel & I can last longer
‘cos there’s things I know now that I didn’t know then
though they would have been useful way back when

I was photographically excellent, but oh so naiive,
now I’ve got one or two new tricks up my sleeve

Don’t think those young girls are as cute as they seem
They’ll squash your manhood and they’ll trample your dreams
Cos you got to know a thing or two to know a man
And a young girl only does what she can
I was photographically excellent, but oh so naiive,
now I’ve got one or two new tricks up my sleeve

Sisters, fightin’ for independence
In a world that’s safe & sound
Now the women wear pants, the men wear earrings
& the wheels are turning round & round

I’m a girl, I’m a woman, I’ve got curves & I love it,
& I’m not 17, and I don’t care who knows it
‘cos there’s things I know now that I didn’t know then so
watch what you’re looking at you hungry men


The older I get, the better I get
The better I get at driving you wild
The older I get, the better I get,
so keep your eyes on the prize, boys.

I was photographically excellent, but oh so naiive,
now I’ve got one or two new tricks up my sleeve

now I’ve got one or two new tricks up my sleeve

now I’ve got one or two new tricks down my (looks down blouse - giggles)


IMPOSSIBLE TO LOSE

It’s impossible to lose
How could you refuse
Something like this only comes around once in a lifetime

The bets will all be placed
Time will be erased
Something like this only comes around once in a lifetime

The classic sting!
A sure fire thing
Impossible to lose

It took years to plan
Everything is in hand
And I’ve dotted the I’s
There’s not one thing left for a surprise

It’s impossible to lose
How could you refuse
Something like this only comes around once in a lifetime

The bets will all be placed
Time will be erased
Something like this only comes around once in a lifetime

The classic sting!
A sure fire thing
An offer for a few
Lucky that it’s you

He who hesitates is lost
Don’t consider the cost
Days will be sunny
You’ll be rolling in money

Something like this only comes around once in a lifetime

THE THUG’S SONG

Hey ho little Handbrake
We’ve got you in tow.
Hey ho pull your weight
or we drop you down below

you’d probably live, sure as eggs are eggs,
but what good’s a jockey without any legs?
Hey ho little Handbrake
We’ve got you in tow.

Hey ho little Handbrake

Hey ho

Squizzie Tomorrow it’ll be all over Handbrake.

Bugsy As long as that nag of yours doesn’t win.

Squizzie If it does, we’ll have to let you go …… if you know what I mean.

Handbrake Don’t worry, it will lose. They don’t call me Handbrake for nothin’. …..

DUALITY
The scene blacks out and the action switches to the Paradise Club which has now been lit

Leslie (signalling to the waiting punters including Becky and Maizie) Line up over here folks and we’ll give you the cash and the instructions.
song
Nick Most of the bets will be placed at Ma Belcher’s betting shops.

Switch scenes

Ma Most of the bets will be placed at Vinny Calpesi’s betting shops.

Mess Remember, a few token bets on other horses so as not to raise suspicion and then just as the race is about to start, you back Deano’s Rhapsody for heaps. Right Ma?

Ma Right!

Switch scenes

Nick Remember, a few token bets on Deano’s Rhapsody so as not to raise suspicion and then just as the race is about to start you back the horse that Clive on the wireless says is playing up. And you back it for heaps. Right Vinny?

Vinny Right!

Leslie And remember. Collect from the bookies before Ma twigs there may be a scam.

Vinny I’ll be there in person, just to see the look on Ma’s face.

Switch scenes

Mess And remember. Collect from the bookies before Vinny twigs there may be a scam.

Ma I’ll be there in person, just to see the look on their faces.



TEMPERANCE TO HELL!
The WTL ladies run in dressed in “flapper” gear

Vera You get the drinks Mabel and I’ll find us a table.
Mabel Let’s hope there’s another raid. I like raids.

Temperance and moderation sure are fine
But there’s nothing like a little tipple of wine
I think it’s time to live before we die
And to show a touch of thigh

Woo!

Step kick, step kick we’ve changed our ways
Brown dresses left behind and onto happy days
It’s time to wear a flapper dress or two,
There’s some making up to do

Swing the beads girls

Brown dresses left behind and onto happy days
It’s time to wear a flapper dress or two,
There’s some making up to do

Find a knee girls

Temperance and moderation sure are fine
But there’s nothing like a little tipple of wine
I think it’s time to live before we die
And to show a touch of thigh

I'VE GOT IT COVERED
Gina: (slow intro)
I’ve got it covered baby
One and all
Don’t need to worry
About that wall

No need to to get yourself in a fliver
You and I control both sides of the river



NO SUCH THING
(gradually faster)

There’s no – such – thing as a sure thing
No such thing as a safe bet
No such thing as a walk in the park………..

You’ll ne-ver see round the corner
That’s the way that it ought to Be
when walking the path of life
You’re not meant to know what you’ll see

There’s surprises packed on surprises
You’ll never know the end
One minute I could be your enemy
Next minute I’m a bosom buddy friend
There’s

no – such – thing as for certain
no such thing as ‘it’s hopeless’
no such thing as ‘it just can’t be’

Life’s not for sitting on the shelf
Take a long look at yourself
And shake the dust from your shoulder
Every minute you’re older
Heat up your life before you grow colder

no – such – thing as for certain
no such thing as ‘it’s hopeless’
no such thing as ‘it just can’t be’

no such thing as ‘it just can’t be’
no such thing as ‘it’s hopeless, see’
no such thing as ‘I can’t be free’
no such thing as ‘I can’t change me’

Life’s not a sure thing – you can bet
Live life to the fullest
Tonight your life’s not over yet……



Temptation in Moderation (Finale)


Chorus (all)
We’re born with our slates wiped clean, we’re as pure as the driven snow
And what our lives encounter will determine how we grow
There may be many ups and downs, temptations in a row
But all things in moderation might be just the way to go


Chorus (all)
We’re born with our slates wiped clean, we’re as pure as the driven snow
And what our lives encounter will determine how we grow
There may be many ups and downs, temptations in a row
But all things in moderation might be just the way to go

Chant:
Everything in moderation
Everything in moderation 
Everything
Including moderation itself




Verse 1(Temperance Women)
Chase, face and embrace temptation
Long as its in moderation
Living life should be our aim,
to waste it all would be a shame
We turn our backs to find salvation 

Perhaps it’s time to risk damnation 

Right and wrong are much the same,
it’s just how you play the game

(Mess & Touchables)
Chase, face and embrace temptation
Long as its in moderation
Getting rich should be our aim, sometimes we have to kill and maim
People say we deserve citation
But surely not incarceration
Right and wrong are much the same, why are we the one’s to blame?

Verse 2 (Captain and Marlena)
Chase, face and embrace temptation
Long as its in moderation
Getting free should be our aim, we have no wish for instant fame
We only seek remuneration
To our wage a cash augmentation
Right and wrong are much the same, got the money and the dame

(Ma and Girls)
Chase, face and embrace temptation
Long as its in moderation
Gaining class should be our aim, to walk and mix with toffier dames
We don’t want to see our life’s vocation
Nothing more than men’s recreation
Right and wrong are much the same, we’d like to change our maiden name.

Verse 3 (Gina)
Chase, face and embrace temptation
Long as its in moderation
Gaining power should be my aim, to walk with wealth and feel the same
I was full of condemnation
Now there are grounds for celebration
Right and wrong are much the same, just holding up the family name


(Vinnie & Nick)
Chase, face and embrace temptation
Long as its in moderation
Gaining influence should be our aim, to walk the streets to great acclaim
This current sting’s just allegation
A load of lies and fabrication
Right and wrong are much the same, we’ve gotta name you can’t defame.
Everything in moderation
Everything in moderation
Everything
Including moderation itself